[Review] The Big Sick: To Love Me, Let Me Go?

Upon hearing the Hong Kong translated title, A Pakistani in the Eyes of His Lover (情人眼裡巴基斯), I'm sure most people would assume the film is about how cultural differences between a white and a Pakistani-American couple affect their relationship and hinder its progression. Unexpectedly, the film is about almost the opposite, and the original title, The Big Sick, is far more accurate.

In The Big Sick, Kumail and Emily transition from a one-night stand to a loving relationship. Although they occasionally discuss the differences in their upbringings, cultural disparities are never something they truly prioritize. What genuinely causes their relationship to break down isn't their inherent cultural differences, but rather Kumail's family's traditional beliefs, which demand he marry a Pakistani, Muslim woman. Kumail, as a young man raised in America, doesn't want to be constrained by traditional arranged marriages; he desires the right to choose his own love.

Later, the film introduces Emily's parents, Terry and Beth, and through depicting their relationship and disputes, it shows that love, whether between white partners like them or between Kumail and Emily, or indeed any other race, will inevitably face challenges and arguments. Therefore, the essence of love, regardless of race, is the same; skin color, culture, or religion should not become barriers to love. The film then delves deeply into the essential elements of a relationship, such as honesty, respect, tolerance, and sacrifice. These qualities are not exclusive to any one race but are inherent to every individual.

The most moving line for me in The Big Sick was when Kumail told Emily by her hospital bedside: although he didn't want to lose her, if she wanted to leave, she could. Meeting someone you love isn't easy, but letting them go is even harder. On life's journey, we inevitably encounter many things we must let go of, most often unwillingly: the passing of loved ones, the drifting apart of friends, children leaving home as they grow up... Under normal circumstances, separation is always painful because we don't want to lose, and we aren't accustomed to loss.

In the film, Kumail's words to Emily tell us: in some situations, if you truly love someone, let them go. Kumail had finally found Emily, whom he loved, and naturally wanted to spend his life with her. He had only recently broken up with Emily, and unexpectedly, he might now face a separation of life and death. However, he couldn't bear to see Emily continue to suffer, so he decided to let go. Fortunately, Emily eventually recovers, and the film unexpectedly doesn't have Emily immediately fall for Kumail and accept him. Later, Kumail's family also decides to let go, allowing Kumail to pursue his own ideals. Initially, I also thought the film would continue to echo the theme of "letting go," depicting Kumail ultimately letting go, and the two never seeing each other again. Unexpectedly, the film's final scene brings another surprise, and this ending is very sweet and romantic.

The Big Sick was adapted from Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon's real-life love story, with Kumail Nanjiani playing himself. As a comedy based on true events, many of the jokes in the film are related to real-life American society and Kumail himself. The X-Files joke, for instance, likely originated from Kumail Nanjiani, who has appeared in The X-Files. Race issues have always been controversial in America, and the film also includes jokes about 9/11 and ISIS, maintaining a serious tone yet without losing its humor, never feeling politically incorrect.

Finally, I want to comment on the film's translated title. The film's original title, "The Big Sick," directly refers to Emily's serious illness, which is precisely the main event described in the film. The relationship between Kumail and Emily also undergoes a transformation after this "big sick." In the film, Kumail is almost entirely Americanized in his appearance, values, work, and speech; he doesn't even consider himself a Muslim. Meanwhile, Emily essentially doesn't view Kumail through a prejudiced lens; their interactions are not affected by American-Pakistani cultural differences. Emily only breaks up with Kumail because she cannot bear the traditional views of Kumail's family and doesn't want him to lose his family. Therefore, in Emily's eyes, her lover is just an ordinary person; his Pakistani ethnicity is not a significant factor for her. Thus, the translated title, A Pakistani in the Eyes of His Lover, almost entirely contradicts the film's original intent, which is quite awkward.